What your mornings look like when you’re Benjamin Law

‘A few years ago, I decided to enforce some standards. This means waking up early. And wearing pants at my desk.’

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The chances that you have read something hilarious, informative and witty by Benjamin Law are high. He’s a regular contributor to many of Australia’s printed publications via his features, and also pens a hilarious column each week for Good Weekend, where he explores with comical pace the unpacking of a particular life problem or encounter. He’s also authored two popular books; The Family Law (nominated for Australia’s Book of the Year in 2011) and Gaysia, and recently released with sister Michelle, Sh*t Asian Mothers Say.

I’m normally waking up… between 6.30 and 7.30am. Because I freelance, I could technically wake up whenever I want. But a few years ago, I decided to enforce some standards. This means waking up early. And wearing pants at my desk.

I am not naturally a morning person so prying out from under the covers is a chore. It takes me a long shower and an hour of reading the news before I’m fully conscious. Even as a kid, I was a deep sleeper. Recently, when I took several hours to get out of bed, my partner remarked, “We almost needed a chopper to get you out of there.”

Once I’m up I’m checking the news and social media. There’s so much going on, it wakes me up. It’s why I try not to take my phone to bed, but it’s a damn effective wake-up stimulator.

Next I might … put on pants. MIGHT.

And if I’m a exercise inclined I’ll … actually, exercising in the morning makes me want to vomit. I’ll swim a few kilometres every week, but that’s nearly always an afternoon reward.

Then it’s on to… breakfast, which I’d really like to be a croissant from Brickfield’s bakery coupled with a Virgin Mary made with freshly squeezed tomato juice and limes.

But really, I’m a creature of habit so it’s often toast with a glass of V8 Hot ‘n’ Spicy.

I might try to change it up a little and if so it’s breakfast ramen.

I’m drinking V8 Hot and Spicy Juice and I’ll probably have green or peppermint tea throughout the morning.

But sometime’s I’ll also have cocaine. Just kidding. Methampethamines are easier to come by in Sydney.

On a weekend, if I have a little more time to make a dish it’ll be crushed soft-boiled eggs on avocado on Brickfields soy and linseed sourdough and the secret to getting it right is you put the eggs into boiling water for exactly seven minutes.

If I’m off for a breakfast meeting or catch up, we’ll go to Something for Jess (Corner of Abercrombie and O’Connor Streets, Chippendale) because it’s fresh (the menu changes every week, according to produce availability on the farm) the staff are the friendliest and most attentive in town and the kitchen does a knockout job, for a hole-in-the-wall establishment. I’m seriously there every second day.

By 10am my hamstrings are starting to seize up (I work at a standing desk) and thinking about doing anything else that isn’t writing and it’ll be a good day if I’ve got most of my to-do list ticked off my list by this time.

And the next big thing for me is LUNCH.

Be sure to add Benjamin’s instagram account to your feed for one hilarious and witty injection. You’ll find him at @mrbenjaminlaw.

Find the morning routines of creatives interesting? Artist Michael Zavros’s makes for another one.

Image credits: Paul Harris and Give Recipe

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