• None of these things are quite like the other, none of these things are just quite the same.

So…. the Golden Gaytime tub is not very great

Sadly one of these things is not like the other.

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These are the hardest words I have ever had to write: The Golden Gaytime tub is not great. I would maybe go so far as to say it ‘sucks’. Those are harsh words, but this is a harsh reality: the 1.25L tub of Gaytime just does not meet my expectations.

Let’s rewind to 13 days, 2 hours and 26 minutes ago when I was sitting in a Monday morning lecture at university and news of probably the most exciting thing to happen in Australian history since Steven Bradbury ‘accidentally’ took out gold at the 2002 Winter Olympics broke. GAMECHANGER: Streets was completely transforming our nation’s finest biscuit-covered-toffee-and-caramel-creamed-ice-product-on-a-stick, and selling it in portions large enough to get you through an entire episode of The Bachelor.

Needless to say, emotions were running high. Saliva was drooling from the mouths of every ice cream-loving punter in the country, and every single person I spoke to lost their mind at the idea of getting their hands on a tub. Someone even nominated Jesse James McElroy, the dude behind the ‘Golden Gaytime Icecream Tub Project’ Facebook page that has largely been credited for putting the wheels in motion on this outrageous idea, for Australian of the Year.

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After nearly two weeks of non-stop searching of various Coles and Woollies across Brisbane (and I covered a lot of ground) and heartbreak, I finally got my mitts on a tub. It felt like my entire life had been leading up to this moment. Remember, this is someone whose first purchase upon returning home after seven months overseas with shitty fruit and vegetables and sub-par (read: not Australian) weather was a Golden Gaytime from a servo in Chapel Hill about four hours after I landed. My expectations were high.

I loaded the spoon and had a taste. Then I had another. And then I nearly combusted into a pool of ice cream-induced tears because it just was not what I wanted. Here’s the breakdown: the renowned cookie crunch, undoubtedly the best part of the Gaytime, is largely MIA. It is only found sporadically throughout the tub – a disappointing execution of what could have been a life-changing idea and/or worldwide sensation. I mean, I don’t know what I was after – the entire tub to be coated in that delicious choc coating and covered in mouth-watering biscuit pieces? Um, yes. That is exactly what I was after. And unfortunately that’s not what I got. Due to serious lack of crunch factor, I’m going to give the Golden Gaytime 1.25L tub a 4/10. Sorry, Streets. It’s a no from me.

 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

After imposing on herself a (very poorly adhered to) ban on purchasing any more white shirts, stripes or dry-clean only items, Ellie Grounds needed something to fill her time and decided writing about her favourite activity (consuming food) would suffice. When she is not busy navigating her way through a double degree in Law and Journalism, she preoccupies herself by thinking about her one true love, ice cream, in particular Gelato Messina. You can follow her quest to conquer the world’s best frozen desserts, one scoop at a time, on Instagram: @scoop.dogg 

 

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